In yoga, we talk about creating space between breaths.  As a chronic, I’m all about creating space between flare ups.  The space between is the sweet spot.

It’s what I try to remember when I’m uncomfortable in the morning. There’s space between pain and swelling.  There’s space between the meds and relief.  There’s always a space.

Lately, I’ve been fortunate enough to have lots of space between my discomfort.  It’s interesting.  When there’s a good deal of space between the pain, you can almost forget that you’re chronic.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t go away that easily. While we can enjoy the space between, we must be prepared to live through wherever we are, whatever we’re feeling.  You can look to the space between for hope.

I had a unique experience the other day.  I was talking to a yoga student before class, and she was telling me that some days it’s just harder to get there, to practice. Was she hinting at a chronic condition? 

Either way, I empathized with that.  Practicing in the morning, when my RA is flaring up is incredibly challenging.  So to encourage her for coming, and to let her know she could nurture herself as much as she needed to in her practice, I told her about having RA. 

The woman I was speaking to was considerably older than I.  She had kids, a family, and she said to me, “Wow.  You’re my hero, that you could get up and be here with that disease.” 

I was happy that sharing my story did encourage her in her practice.  She then shared that she also has arthritis and it can be hard. 

Now, I’m no hero, but the whole experience got me thinking. 

• For all the people getting up in the morning, and walking to the bathroom, even when it hurts to press down on your feet, you’re my hero. 
• For all the people respecting the fact that Chronic physical abilities change daily (as does everyone else’s) and knowing when to rest, you’re my hero. 
• For all the people playing through pain or fatigue induced brain-fog, you’re my hero.
• For all the people participating in research studies to make this disease less prevalent, painful or for an eventual cure, you’re my hero.

It feels good to be someone’s hero.  Whether or not you completely believe it, try to acknowledge your strength in getting through this experience.  RA is not a human universal, but being chronic another challenge to the randomness of existing.

It’s Thanksgiving! Everyone is all gobble gobble gobble, and gluttonous happiness.

Let’s talk gratitude for a minute. Yesterday, I was thankful hobbies. When I was younger I did bead work and crocheted too. I all but gave ‘em up because of the pain in my joints. But with meds, and mostly pain free afternoons, I’ve picked up my hobbies again. I’m grateful for that.

Today is Thanksgiving and I’m grateful for the opportunity to spend my day writing and reading. Rocking sweatpants, snuggled in to a cozy couch, I’ve got a serious day of writing, reading and maybe some cooking planned. Fan-freaking-tastic.

Since we’ve arrived at last at Thanksgiving, this will be the final, formal “gratitude” post.  But this has been an important exercise for me in finding the positive.  There’s always something to be grateful for.   And I’ll be working to bring that perspective to this blog on a more regular basis.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.  Move forward with gratitude.

The last 24 hours have been an interesting reminder of how grateful I am to have family, especially the ones I’ve picked up along the way.

Between the offers to spend Thanksgiving with various sections of N’s (my ex) extended family and my roommates, I’m feeling the surrogate family love.

My relationship with my actual family can feel strained–like when my brother calls me at 7am to tell me he thinks my dad’s cheating on my mother, again.  He’s snooped through my father’s iPod touch and found incriminating emails.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful I have my brother.  And I’m grateful for various facets of my relationships with my family.  But I am so grateful to have the stability and optimistic normalcy of all the family-like connections I’ve formed.

I have health insurance and I’m grateful for that.  Right now, I’m grateful that health insurance providers, among others, cannot discriminate based on genetics.  What the LA Times called the “most sweeping federal anti-discrimination law in nearly 20 years,” went into effect this past Saturday.  Knowledge of the Genetic Information Nondiscrimination Act could probably have stopped me from putting up with a very inappropriate situation.

Rheumatoid arthritis is a genetic condition. As a consequence of it, I have a lot of doctors’ appointments…  When I first started work at this shiny, new exciting firm, I let my manager know that I had a couple doc visits coming up.  She flipped, escalated it to the HR, who implied that I was faking it and required that I document everything (this is the situation outlined in our privacy policy).   Of course, this situation was probably a violation of my rights under previous regulations and legislation, but I am grateful that I am very clearly protected now.